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    August 04

    无题

    今年的渥太华不知道怎么如此多的雨水,雨说来就来,像是跟太阳捉迷藏,一会儿大雨倾盆一会儿却又云开雾散。这阴雨天气不像是苏杭的梅雨季那么缠绵,也不像新疆积攒起来下的雨,持续一两个小时的倾盆大雨。
    喜欢听雨声的我倒并不厌倦这反常的一切,可虽说乐在其中却在眼看着夏天就要过去的时候,很是怀念酷热的感觉。在雨里呆久了开始觉得酷暑特别的畅快,像是把一切都写在脸上的孩子,虽让人时而烦躁,却有更多的快乐。
     
    我们总是在严冬思念夏天的温暖,在盛夏留恋冬天的清凉。可是当老天爷打乱了天气的安排,让一贯炎热的七八月的平均温度保持在十八九度的时候,我们的思念也乱了。老天爷满足了我们的想念,在大夏天里放了一半都是秋天的天气。又热又凉。但是我们又不高兴了,开始抱怨这一切的不正常。甚至期待好好地热几天,穿穿那些新添置的裙子和短裤。
    生活也许是一样,总是想要两全其美,却不得不只选择一样去追求和享受。偶尔期待的都摆在眼前的时候,欣喜的同时当然又有了新的矛盾和留恋。
     
    是不是如果不要期待太多就没有各式各样的复杂心情?可是当人懂得了那么多以后又怎么再变回简单的思考简单的生活呢?
    如题,也不确定自己是在胡乱云云些什么,只是也许在阴雨天里太久会想抒发些什么。豪迈地,大声地叫嚷,或者大汗淋漓地用手挡着太阳眯缝着眼睛笑。
     
    这段时间没有照片记事,可能是因为姣伊回国了没有人在身边一直拿着相机可以随时留念了吧。
    一个人的生活算是适应了,联系不到爸妈的生活也算是适应了,而对那有些被自己一而再再而三打乱的计划还耿耿于怀。这叫什么来着?俗话说作茧自缚。
    当真不想用这些词来形容自己,就当是学了教训。而我真的要好好从中总结点什么吧?因为没有爸妈可以导航,这些日子自己总是怕一个人考虑不周却导致过分思考。可是居然已经不觉得累了,也许过度思考了太久,已成了生活的定式。
     
    我想选择边奋斗边享受的人生,我想让前进的脚步不要太匆匆,一边游览人生二十几岁的大好年华一边踏实得往前走。可是似乎总是走得飘飘摇摇,自己都心虚。
     
    希望是因为雨而多虑了。希望在零久年的夏天过去之前再炎热哪怕几日也好。没办法,“贱”有时候体现得再细微也不得不承认。
     
    PS: 也许“好了伤疤忘了疼也是一种”贱,而且还是上赶着的。

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    楠楠 肖wrote:
    Have a good trip in Alberta!! Enjoy this humid summer !!!!!!
    Aug. 19

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